Does god have a sense of humour? (Demon Nun)

 Does god have a sense of humour? It was a question that people had asked for years, half sarcastically perhaps but it was a question that had been asked and you finally figured out an answer: Yes. Your reasoning for this was rather simple as you concluded that god would simply not put you through the events that you were going through right now if he didn’t have some semblance of a comedian running through him, your eyes locking onto the rain that was currently battering against your window as a certain punchline to the cosmic joke that was being played on you. You then looked up at the clouds to see a never ending abyss of black rushing above your head like ink being dragged across a canvas with a particularly frayed brush and figured that the joke wasn’t going to be over for hours as you turned to your dashboard, grabbed your keys and attempted to start your car. It let out a few desperate gasping sounds before the engine came to a quick stop with you resting your head against the back of your seat and letting out an annoyed groan.

You had been stuck here for what felt like hours now, your eyes glancing at the torn apart country road and then to the overgrown grass and trees as you found another little bit of humour in the situation. Of all the places to break down, it didn’t break down on the highway that was connected to your workplace or on the bridge or tunnel with plenty of phones to call for a tow truck and a taxi. No,instead your car had decided to die right in the middle of nowhere, fields and trees being your only companions for miles with the bountiful countryside being wedged between a village that had a rough population of fifty and a place known as Callingston. Callingston was a wretched town, essentially just a leprosy ridden corpse of a town with brick and mortar ripping apart like diseased flesh off a bone, the body being eaten away by drug dealers and other forms of scum.

You looked at your phone and saw that it still didn’t have any service, hardly surprising but it gave your brain the illusion of attempting to do something to get home. You turned your phone off and threw it atop the dashboard as you realized that you could see some lights in the distance with hope brewing in your heart before you realized they weren’t moving at all. Your disappointment that no one was coming to save you was suddenly replaced with curiosity about what could be causing such bright lights to appear as you were able to trace the outline of a building with your eyes. Curiosity became confused as you realized that you could have sworn that a building hadn’t existed there until the lights showed up before curiosity quickly took over again as you wondered what the hell the building was.

Your brain was then split into two parts, one telling you to just stay in the car and wait until the storm passed and one telling you to just go into the building and see what the hell was going on with the structure. It wasn’t really a tough debate with you figuring that something was better than nothing in this case and even then you could at least lie down in the building unlike in the clearly broken car. With that you’d place your phone into your pocket, put the hood of your hoodie onto your head and move your hand to the door handle, hesitating for just a moment. You had no idea why you were hesitating either with you figuring that you were merely tired and your mind was firing random thoughts and you opened the door and got out of the car, slamming the door behind you as you did so.

The rain battered you and the wind would work in tandem to fray you in tow, your skin feeling like it was freezing and burning as you ran towards the building. The road was another obstacle, having turned into a miasma of mud and rocks in an attempt to impede your movement but it wasn’t stopping you, your feet eventually finding themselves on the paved steps of the building as you’d look up to see what the building actually was. It was a Church,a worn down side embedded into the building’s side telling you that it was the “Church of the Redeemed within the eyes of the Holy Spirit”. It was a worn down affair, which made sense as most churches around the area were built in the medieval era, the bricks all being chipped apart, its bindings turning to dust and its steps having become unequal.

However, you felt that the broken down state of the building didn’t take away from its regalness, the church having aged like wine instead of rotted like the town ahead of it. You moved over to the doors, seeing they had swollen with both age and moisture although the handles of the door didn’t seem like they were rusted although they were tainted with a dullness that you had only seen in your house keys. A gust of wind pushed over you, slicing away at your hands for a moment which made you decide to open that door, your hand grabbing ahold of the metal door handle in the process, being greeted with a ever so slight burning cold. You would start to tug at the door, hearing the no doubt filth filled joints creek as the wood was dragged across the floor, the sound of wood grating against rocks probably being heard for miles although it wasn’t heard by anything human.

You’d enter into the church, pushing the door shut behind you, the sound of the wind and the rain having turned into a haunting echo as you looked around the church to see no sign of those lights anywhere. In fact, it seemed like the place hadn’t been touched since it was first built, the building having no electricity or any modern day furnishings as your eyes looked over to see a confessional booth. It was broken down and covered in some sort of wood rot although you thought that it was more curious that it was even in the building at all since most the churches around here were either Methodist or Evangelical. Still, you didn’t really care about who it belonged to since it was a shelter regardless and it was much better than staying in your car for the entire night. “What brings you here, child?” Asked a voice as your eyes would widen somewhat, a twinge of fear moving inside of you as you’d turn around and see what the voice belonged to.

The turn would reveal what could be best described as a demon in a nun outfit, your eyes locking onto her face to see her glowing red eyes staring back at you, a smile pushed across her mouth revealing pearly white teeth. The rest of her body was a pure black like she was some kind of living shadow, practically absorbing herself into the dark as you gazed upon her horns, the large growth sticking out from her skull and her habit and pushing upwards into the air in a magnificent display. Your eyes would then scan across her clothing, the nun outfit that she had on being ripped and torn in most areas, holes having been stretched into it and the entire lower half having been torn off, giving you a good look at her rather angular legs which had chains wrapped around the bottom of them. The woman seemed to have a tail and a rather thick one at that, said tail being tipped with an almost spear like shape and a series of frills that moved down it, the demon having noticed that you were staring at her and seemingly posing for your entertainment.

“What are you supposed to be?” You said, backing away from the demonic entity, the demon letting out a hum before she spoke.

“Oh, me? I am Sister Resurrexit, once a demon but now I am a servant of god.” She Said, clasping her hands together and closing her eyes in contemplation. “I can sense fear within your soul, Child, but worry not as I mean you no harm.” The woman spoke as she turned around with you having stopped stepping away from her since she hadn’t gone about instantly ripping you limb from limb. “I see the storm continues. Feel free to stay within my humble abode until the storm passes.” She said with you being more than happy to oblige her although you’d hardly call a 15th century gothic church humble but you knew it was best not to argue semantics with a demon of all things.

“Well, thank you, Sister.” You said as you moved over to one of the pews and sat down, being pleasantly surprised that the wood wasn’t soaking wet.

“You’re most welcome, Child. Just remember to thank god for teaching me the virtues of patience, charity and…” the demon would say as her voice trailed off, your eyes glancing at her from the pew. She was staring off into the distance as her tongue would lash about her mouth, hitting against the bottom of her teeth as she made breathless noises, the type you make if you tried to speak whilst being strangled. The woman would suddenly run towards you, going faster than a woman her size should before she clutched a hold of the pew, her hands clutching ahold of it, the woman’s nails digging right into it. She’d stare at you for several moments as she started sniffing away at your hair although you didn’t know how since she didn’t have a visible nose on her face.

The woman’s condition got worse with each sniff of the air around you, the woman’s back going crooked and her entire body starting to shake, her breathing becoming more and more disjointed. “SIN!” She shouted into the air as her hands would move to your shirt, clutching ahold of it and lifting you into the air. You’d attempt to wiggle out of her grasp only to feel that it was near impossible to actually escape her especially given that her hands grip against you was almost vice-like in nature. The woman would start into your eyes, the woman letting her mouth fall slack and her tongue rolled out her mouth like a snake out of its burrow, spit dripping out from the sides of her teeth before she dragged you across the air,pushing your mouth into her own as she did so.

You groaned into the air as you felt her teeth push against your lips as her tongue breached your lips, wiping itself across your teeth as she would do so. You’d feel her spit push into your mouth,noting that it tasted ever so slightly like charcoal as it would push across your tongue and your taste buds. The kiss was one sided and passionate, the woman’s face being so close to your own that you could actually see where the darkness began and her shadowy body ended, the woman’s tongue adventuring around her mouth after she got done assaulting your mouth. You’d feel her brush across your teeth, the drool giving them a fine coating before she’d rip her tongue out of your mouth, the woman seemingly having to force herself to push the wet organ back into her jaws.

She’d take one hand off the neck of you’d go swinging into the ground, ramming against the floor before the demon would start moving, dragging you along with her. You could feel the ground scraping across your legs as you looked to see that you were going towards the confessional with you no dreading what the hell was going to be inside of it before she opened the door and shoved you inside. The guts of the confessional were much more battered then the outside, the seat of the confessional having holes in it and the confessional wall itself being swollen and wet.  The door was quickly slammed behind her,the entire confessional shaking from the force as she would loom over you, her hand clutching ahold of her outfit and tearing it off, revealing her shadowy body to you.

“I can smell it all over you, the SIN! The sweet, sulphury smell of SIN!”She would scream, sounding possibly elated about the entire thing. “And I haven’t had some in so, so long! I’m so hungry, I’m starved! But then God came and gave me you, a sinner to be purified!” The woman would explain before running her claws down her entirely normal sized sides all the while as if to highlight the point that she was making, her hand suddenly going and slamming into either side of the booth. “SO... I’m going to wrench every single last drop of it out of you!” She shouted as she would attempt to straddle you, attempting to do so with much effort due to the fact that she was quite a bit taller than the confessional, the woman eventually managing to get herself on top of you.

You’d then see her hands drift down to your trousers, clutching ahold of your jeans before she proceeded to drag them down your legs, taking a ever so slight bit of restraint as to not rip them clean off your legs. She’d gaze down at your member with several strings of drool coming from her slightly slack jaw before her hands moved up and clutched ahold of your shoulders, the claws digging into your flesh in a somewhat painful way. You’d watch as she would start raising her hips into the air, the woman moving her tail from side to side and hitting against the walls of the confessional, the sound of the wood slamming echoing out across the entire room. Her hips would be raised higher and higher by the moment, that spear-like tip of her tail digging into the wood before she slammed herself down onto your cock.

There was no room for you to brace for what was coming so all you could do was moan out into the air as her inner walls wrapped around your member. Said inner walls clenched around you as she got climatised to your member, her fluids dripping down it as she began to move upwards. Her movements were somewhat laboured, as if she was stopping herself from going completely nuts on your hips, taming her feral instincts somewhat as she’d pant out into the air. After a short while she’d stop just a inch or so below your member, the configuration of the confessional making that she couldn’t get all the way off your dick without plowing her head through the wood, the woman resting there for a moment before pushing her hips down your member again.

The demon kept riding you, trying to adjust herself so that she wasn’t nearly cracking her head open with each thrust, a smattering of sawdust coming from where her horns scratched the wood. Her eyes looked down at you, unblinking and hungry in a way that only a predators could be, the woman’s pussy fluids spreading out across your skin as she would adjust herself a bit more. Her arms would slide against your back, her clawed hands dragging across your spine so her face would move closer to your own, the woman’s hellishly hot breathing making the stuffy booth even hotter then it would have been beforehand. You’d hear noises that you couldn’t describe come from her body,ones that you couldn’t describe because there was no animal that could make those sounds before her hips began to move faster. 

A groan would escape your mouth as the woman's wet inner walls would drift your cock easily, the woman noticing your mouth opening and going for what she wanted. Her mouth would touch your lips again, her tongue cascading through your lips and teeth to reach your tongue, wrapping around it so you couldn’t resist her kiss. You’d feel the wood against your head as she’d wrestle with your tongue, the woman hitting against your hips so hard that her pussy was clutching against your cock.  The woman’s tail would still wag from side to side, swinging around the place and eventually getting itself in the gap between the stalls, the woman seeming ever so slightly annoyed but not enough to stop kissing you, a grunt pushing from her mouth as drooled pooled on her tongue.

The booth was filled with the sounds of your muffled moans of pleasure and her hips ramming against your own with you imaging the booth was doing little to keep the sound in the booth. She’d attempt to move her legs so she could be even closer to you, the woman’s warmth coming off her like she was on fire, the woman’s feet dancing their way against the ground before she would root herself down. The woman would then pull her head backwards, her tongue slowly being dragged out of your mouth and splashing spit against your chin as she looked at you, her tongue half hanging out of her mouth. “It’s so close to coming out, that SIN of yours.” She said as she would move her hands back up your body and clutched ahold of your head, pushing it into her breasts.

The woman’s hips would only increase in speed by the moment, her hips growing faster as you moved your hands up and grabbed ahold of her rear, your fingers digging into it. This did nothing to actively stop her speeding up and actually caused her to grow faster instead, the horns really digging into the wood now as she would let out a series of groans and moans. Her hips twitched and shifted across your hips as the booth would start creeking against the air from everything going on within, the woman getting her tail unjammed from the grating and ramming it against the other side. It was at that moment you realized that anything resembling civility or humanity had long since left her darker than dark body and instead was replaced with feral and demonic lust.

That was when you felt as your cock started to throb inside of her, pushing against her inner walls of which pushed back with equal intensity, her claws digging into your skin like they were daggers. Her hips would keep ramming down upon you as the pressure started to build up inside of the tip of your cock, getting more and more intense as the woman’s eyes stared down at you, eager and ready for what was to come. You’d feel the pressure drifting across the entirety of your cock, travelling further and further down as your feet would tap at the ground. Of course, you couldn’t hold onto all of this forever and as such you started to cum inside of her, the woman letting out a gasp of relief before she let her hips plummet down onto your hips, pinning you between her and the wood.

The first load that pushed out of your member coated her black inner walls a fine white, each rope that came afterwards only making it even whiter as the ropes grew in both consistency and speed. The peak would come as quickly as your orgasm did, a massive bundle of ropes spraying out of your cock and pushing into her deepest reaches and, although one look of her eyes told you that it wasn’t enough to sate the fires that was inside of her, but it would be enough to tame it for several moments. After that your orgasm would naturally come towards the end, the ropes growing smaller and smaller before becoming drops, your exhausted hands falling down from her asscheeks and your body resting against the wood that was resting against your skin.

She would keep herself still for a few moments, if it was for seconds or minutes didn’t matter to you since it felt the same either way, before she’d start to move again, starting a long sequence of various sex acts very unbecoming of a nun. Every hole was used, from mouth to ass and mouth again, each one able to wring more cum out of you then you ever thought possible, her clashing hips and pleasurable tongue getting warmer and wetter with each load pumped inside. Eventually your body would fail you, the combination of the sex and the night making it so that you were rapidly growing more and more tired, your body growing heavier and heavier as you’d fall asleep, the last thing that you felt was her mouth jammed against your own, her tongue choking you of any and all breath that you may have.

Your eyes would start to open a few hours later, your body aching and your eyes being greeted to that of the church, caked in a slight daylight as you’d pull yourself from where you laid. It seems that the nun had taken you out of the booth and laid you on the pews to rest, your phone resting by your head as you looked down to see that she had put your jeans on in the ensuing time which was a pleasant surprise. You got up, feeling a particularly grand aching within your jaw and your hips with you imaging there were going to be bruising on the later given how hard she was thrusting.  You looked around for a brief moment, seeing that she had disappeared as quickly as she appeared with you turning around and deciding to leave, the storm seemingly  having passed unless your eyes had deceived you. 

“Ah, you’re awake, my Child.” Said the distinct voice of the demon, causing you to turn around to see her in place where she wasn’t beforehand. “I must...apologise for my conduct last night, its was extremely unbefitting of a woman of god.” She said as you’d attempted to get a word in edgeways, only to get cut off. “I am of the lust ring in my previous life and, although I am not of succubi blood, I tend to become feral when I smell sin.” She explained as you wondered if this counted as repentance or not.

“There’s no need to apologise, it’s fine. God has his mysterious ways, doesn’t he?” You said as you’d let out a chuckle to yourself before you’d rub your head. “Seriously though, I must get going, I need to get home but, if I ever need to have my sins cleansed again, then I’ll be sure to meet you here. Goodbye, Sister.” You said as you would wait for her to respond, it seemed rude to just slam the door in her face.

“Goodbye, my child. May your trip back be a safe one.” She said as you nodded and walked out the door, letting it shut behind you to see the sun rising overhead, the sky blurred with blue and orange. You would then take the short walk to your car, the feeling of the dirt shifting under you being less prominent now as you opened the door and went inside, shutting it behind you as you decided to push your keys into the ignition and see if the car turned on, figuring it would be the ultimate cosmic joke on you if the car started now. The coughing of your engine would turn into a splutter as you would chuckle to yourself, hearing as everything hummed to life and all the lights would turn on, the radio being the last thing to turn on in the entire car.  The radio was playing amazing grace with you only thinking one thing. 

God really does have a sense of humour.